Self Introduction Letter
Subject: Self-Introduction
Dear Prof Brad,
I am writing to introduce myself. My name is Aloysius and I graduated
from Republic Polytechnic in 2017 with a Diploma in Aerospace Avionics which sparked
my interest and passion for engineering. The reason for the switch from
aerospace to mechanical engineering was that mechanical engineering covers a
wider aspect of engineering as compared to aerospace which focuses more on
aerospace skills.
Moving on to weaknesses, I have difficulties consolidating my thoughts and paraphrasing
them in time for delivery. This is probably why I stutter at times while trying
to deliver a large amount of content to my targeted audience. Like every other
Singaporean son, I have served 2 years in the military after completing my
diploma. One of the incidents caused by that weakness was when I was
tasked to deliver instructions to the entire company. I found myself giving the
timing for the second set of instructions as the first which led to confusion
in the events time flow. One of the self-remedies I developed was to input breaks
between sentences deliberately to avoid stuttering.
These two years I believe, have also enhanced my communication
skills as we are forced to live with people of different backgrounds. I would
say that I am a great listener and an empathetic person myself. These are fundamental traits I feel every human should possess. It may not be a direct form of
communication, but it is a start for communication to progress. Having poor
communication would result in increased misunderstanding, which could possibly increase conflicts between parties.
Thus, my primary goal in this module is to be able to
consolidate thoughts on my mind faster and deliver them fluently to my
audience. With this as a fundamental, I believe communication would be a
breeze. As I have a weak fundamental in English Language as a whole, I
sometimes find myself spending loads of time writing just a short essay. Therefore,
the second goal I wish to achieve from this module would be an improvement in written
skills. I am looking forward to the minor improvements i can make for subsequent classes.
Yours sincerely,
Aloysius
LAST EDITED: 20.01.2020
LAST EDITED: 20.01.2020
Commented on Andy, Adley, Amzar, Daryl
ReplyDeleteDear Aloysius,
ReplyDeleteits nice to know more about you. please allow me to drop some pointers.
Vocabulary ie. 'we are forced to live with people from different background' instead of 'we are forced to live with people of different background' and 'prevent me from stuttering' instead of prevent myself'.
Best Regards,
Andy
Hello Aloysius,
ReplyDeleteLet me help you out. I see that you have made the same mistake as me in Capitalizing "Yours Sincerely". I hope we can have a meaningful and memorable experience in our effective communications class. Let's help each other improve our essay writing skills together!
Best regards,
Adley
Dear Aloysius,
ReplyDeleteAfter i reading through your letter of introduction, I noticed you have a good choice of vocabulary. Also I am astonished that you have already implemented methods to improve on your public speaking.
Best regards,
Ahmad
Dear Aloysius,
ReplyDeleteThanks very much for this letter of intro. It's detailed and at the same time deep in the information you provide. I'm especially impressed that you recognize empathy as a vital trait, though I believe it is as direct as anything that can be extended or experienced.
In terms of language use, there ar a few items to take note of:
1. sentence structure
-- One of the incidents that happened caused by that weakness was when I was tasked to deliver instructions to the entire company, I found myself giving the timing for the second set of instructions as the first which led to confusion in the events time flow. > (comma splice)
-- Having poor communication would result in increased misunderstanding which thus, possible increase in conflicts between parties. >
Having poor communication would result in increased misunderstanding, which could increase conflicts between parties.
-- I am looking forward to the improvements I can benefit from subsequent classes. > ?
2. style
-- 2 years > (In APA, spelling out numbers 1-10 is required.)
-- You should probably have a transitiona phrase between the first and second paragaphs.
I look forward to working with you further this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Aloysius,
ReplyDeleteI like how you mentioned that your communication skills have improved due to your time in National Service. From our interactions in class, I could not tell that you had trouble with communicating with your peers.
One thing that I would change in your essay is how you mentioned "... aerospace to mechanical engineering was that mechanical engineering..." to "... aerospace to mechanical engineering is that mechanical engineering..." as mechanical engineering currently covers a wider array of topics than aerospace.
Cheers,
Adley